EVALUATING THE EROTICISM OF SOME FORMS OF PUBLIC TRANSPORT
Is this post a joke or not? An easy rule to help you know: if you agree, I'm just doing a bit, and if you disagree it's because these are my sincere beliefs which I am writing because I hate you specifically.
I discuss not the use public transport, but the forms/vehicles themselves. Both rails and the power lines used by trams and trolleybuses use are erotic, tracks moreso than power lines. The joining of the vehicle (by wheel) to the track mirrors the joining of bodies during sex in pursuit of common goal (pleasure/transport) which can only be fulfilled in this form; the vehicle and the track remain their own unique entities and can exist independently of each other, however they lose the capability for this function brought about by the joining of forms. Power lines fulfil this to a milder degree, but the connection is more distant, through the apparatus on top of the vehicle. Moreover, they mainly serve to electrify (or excite) the vehicle, which could be given another power source without much change to its own form. It is less the unity found in sex and more the stimulation of foreplay.
So you see, that's why if we rank public transport by eroticism, we get this list:
- tram
- train
- trolleybus
- regular bus
Buses, having neither of the above traits, are very masturbatory. Cars, in their closed off and isolated form, are even more so, and that's why they are a common fixture of male fantasies or collections. "Powerful" vehicles like beefed up trucks are representations of the male power fantasy, whereas sleek sports cars often represent desire to dominate the female form (as realized in any song about a sports car ever; the horniness is palpable).
It's very simple!