JOURNAL. September 2024.
Accomplishments? (21.09.2024)
Intended to get around to my September journal much earlier and ended up doing it exactly a month after my single August entry 💀. That philosophy essay really wore me out. Although my tutor did grade it and quite positively, suggesting that I publish it... so now I have to find an outlet for that paper as well. Most unexpected part of his review: remarking that I demonstrate "deep sensitivity". Are we sure about that? Anyways. I'm still searching for a journal to review my schizoid sociology essay... too topical for the theoretical journals and too theoretical for the topical journals. Suffering. But surely somehwere someone will take a look...
My friend finished the zine I put this writing piece in. I encourage you to download the free pdf, or you can order a physical copy here. The blackout poem I was too lazy to upload here and several other interesting pieces by others are in this zine!
Adding to my insufferability credit, I've just finished Szasz's Myth of Mental Illness (certainly a provative work, although I don't agree with everything) and also have in my current library withdrawals Freud, Žižek on Lacan, and a few sociology of deviance books. It's nice to have interests again. Hopefully I won't let myself get too exhausted once classes start up again in October...
Social connections are exhausting and I really hate being human sometimes. An isolated nature really requires more impressions management as it means you will be talked about without your knowledge while you yourself have no one to whom you even confide, let alone denigrate for not bending to your/your friends' whims. Connections are out of the questions due to the deranged way people behave to maintain them. Thank god I'm withdrawn ("cluster A", but I don't care that much about diagnostic terms) rather the other way around ("cluster B"). I'm just trying to sit here, man. Alright, that was needlessy petty. Particulary from someone supposedly of "deep sensitivity".
In real life, I seem to have been adopted into the social circle of the regulars from the writer meetup I attend. Invited to a movie night. This is not necessarily a bad way of spending time with people, as it is activity-focused rather than interaction-focused (even though interaction is the implicit motive here). Still I can't escape feeling every social expression I make as performative even in situation such as this where I am not being particularly imposed upon.